Parenting can be difficult, and knowing what to do can make situations frustrating and confusing. We understand the struggle is real, the need is instant, and the desire is deep. Making rules without understanding the limitations of your child can be damaging. Understanding the child’s developmental ability, emotional state, and reasoning helps place expectations and consequences. A few tips that may help are rewards, including allowing the child to build or plan the results. Examples could be: 1. find a jar and add marbles 2. each marble is a reward for good behavior or actions 3. decide on the number of marbles for a prize out of the prize bag 4. If a consequence is needed, use the marbles (take out two marbles for each action) *prize bag– little things your child likes but does not receive regularly. It can be noted saying ‘one hour fee time’ or ‘choose dinner tonight.’ Behavior charts or think sheets may work for your child to help them reframe their thoughts and actions. We have added a few on this page as examples.
Fun at Home with my Dad- A young man’s view on meltdowns
My dad and I have a nice house and a lot of nice things. We mostly just hang around my house. I mostly play with my PS4 while at home. I like to ride my hoverboard when it’s nice outside. I have fun on our lake. We exercise in our basement which is cool right now.
Sometimes I have a meltdown. These happen when I get mad, then I get sad. Mostly what cheers me up is playing my video games. I have meltdowns when I have to eat food I don’t like but I am getting better with this and eating new foods because I am 9 now. I am just an ordinary kid that just likes my family. I feel safe at home and they understand me.
My dad will talk to me when I have a meltdown. He knows when I am about to have one and will tell me to my room or just sit down until I am ready to talk. I had a few meltdowns at daycare so now I am with my new babysitter. I am getting used to being good, acting calm and safe. When we have rushed around or playing wild I can’t settle down very well.
I get frustrated when we have to change activities or people get wild or loud. I don’t hear very well and sounds become blurry so I don’t know what people are always saying. So when my friends talk to me I tap my ears so they know I can’t understand what they are saying.
I do not mean to break things but sometimes I push or hit too hard and they break which causes people to blame me for breaking them but I did not mean to. This causes me to have a meltdown. And if you don’t understand what a meltdown is I will tell you. It means: scared, worried, unable to calm down, and hurt. I get anxious and frustrated easily. My dad knows what to do to help me. He keeps me safe when I am home.
When do you stop toxic visits for your child? How would you go about preventing the visits when the other parents/grandparent is allowed a certain amount of time each week or month? Supervised visits or court-ordered visits that are toxic can be damaging and traumatic for your child. Court-ordered visits are more straightforward to discontinue as the case manager or supervisor of the visits can suggest stopping them for the child’s welfare. Simply put, […]
When do you become frustrated?When people are expecting or demanding more than you can give, what happens to your ability to function?Our children who have special needs may have a lower tolerance or ability to handle frustration. People don’t typically think first before throwing out commands, and they may use a tone of urgency when speaking. These two actions may cause the child to react in significantly extreme behaviors, which in turn, we respond. […]
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I began this journey to understand sensory processing disorder as a grandmother and mother. My grandson has what he calls sensory issues. I am a clinical therapist who specializes in children’s therapy. Most of my clients are on the spectrum, have attachment disorders, and/ or complex trauma. What I have seen in all these children is a need for sensory diets, large motor activities, and coping skills for meltdowns. While advancing in my career […]
I see many tantrums in the residential where I work. These tantrums are designed to receive something like a prize or attention or not receive something like a consequence. The children who have tantrums begin to “turn it up” when they are not allowed to have their desired item or thing. They begin to throw things, may become violent, hit, punch, or destroy property. They may taunt others to engage in this behavior with […]
What is working memory? Chaos runs rampant in this family. Mornings affect their entire day. This morning is a bad one. Books fly across the room and I hate you yelled randomly increases stress and anxiety of the Smith family. The Smith family, a daughter, 2 sons, a dog, and a single mother. struggle daily. Joey the youngest child is protected, loved, and spoiled. Joey is captivating with his bright green eyes, raven black […]