My personal story: I struggled with eating as a child. We had the “eat all that is on your plate” rule at home. I would say food made me sick, but I was told to stay until my plate was clean. Some foods, like chicken, hot dogs, and vegetables, were easy for me to eat. Others upset my stomach. Food and I had a love-hate relationship. I later discovered I was allergic to milk, beef, bread, and more. As I matured, I found that other allergies made it hard to eat a normal diet. Allergies, low self-esteem, and confusion about my identity formed a perfect storm for disordered eating.

During my teen years, a traumatic experience occurred: I was raped. This event brought emotional triggers and relationship issues, including body image and my connection with food. Unaware of anorexia nervosa, I did not realize I was starving myself. My body began to show usual symptoms—body hair, irregular menstrual cycles, hair loss, and difficulty gaining weight. At this time, I was 92 lbs.

Soon after, I noticed I was never hungry, always tired, and, strangest of all, had hair growing on my back. Years later, I realized these were signs of Anorexia. I struggled with body image for a long time. After my divorce, my weight dropped to 90 lbs again, and I was unable to manage the situation.

As my stress increased, I decided to seek help by admitting myself to a stress center (available in the 1990s). The center required me to stay for 7 days or until I could eat a turkey sandwich. This experience helped me realize bread was an issue for me. Although the doctor suspected I was just limiting my caloric intake, I eventually ate enough, gained 5 lbs, and was discharged.

Transitioning to adulthood, I still struggled. However, I learned to appreciate myself at any weight. It wasn’t easy; it was one of the hardest things I faced. I never felt hungry, counted calories, cut down on food, walked a lot, and became upset about changes in my clothing size. Most of the time, I disliked how I looked and felt, but gradually developed skills to overcome my thinking errors.

Over time, learning CBT and trusting in my higher power (Jesus) gave me strength. I arrived at a place where I liked and eventually loved myself. My disordered eating is not completely over—I still struggle with middle-aged weight and self-acceptance. However, I no longer starve myself, over-exercise, binge, or purge. I keep things in moderation and use thought stopping to remind myself that I am okay as I am.

We work with clients who suffer from eating disorders using CBT. We understand eating disorders and their impact on clients and families. We also help families recognize signs, symptoms, and challenges.