This may be a good time to purchase or grab a journal so you can keep all your thoughts and work in one place. Set it aside, marked only for your inner child’s work. Look around and find a journal you would have loved as a child. If I were choosing one for my lost inner child, I’d choose one with balloons, purple and blue, and butterflies. What type of journal would your wounded, hidden witness have loved?

As you think about each question listed below and in the following pages, you can put your thoughts down in writing- in this book. After the questions, you have a small amount of space for simple answers; however, your journal allows you to expand on each question. If you can stop and ask yourself, your hidden witness, when is the last time I did this or the first time I did this? That may help in identifying your age of wounding. Try to be as honest with yourself as you consider each question.

Working through the questions, you may notice behaviors or habits that go with each one.

For example: for the question, Do I seek approval? Yes, I do, and I may ask repeatedly, become agitated, and feel rejected if I don’t get their approval.

During the week, think about some of the questions and consider why or when these happen to you.

For instance, if you find that you frequently apologize even though you haven’t done anything wrong, write down every time you say sorry and think about what caused it. Becoming aware of the “when and why” of the behavior can help you better understand your own patterns. This can make self-reflection feel more manageable and help you make steady, positive progress.

Questions to reflect on, and considering the biggest question of all: do I need this book… the answer may be yes if you answer most of the time or not at all to the following:

Do I seek approval?

Do I need affirmation?

Do I need perfection?

Do I care for others and forget myself?

Do I feel anxious or negative towards authority?

Do I let people in authority rule over me?

Do I understand boundaries?

Do I seek attention?

Do I struggle with my own feelings?

Do I fear success?

Do I fear conflict?

Do I find safety in eating, working, or compulsions?

Do I feel sad or empty?

Am I afraid to ask for help?

Am I holding on to relationships that I know are harmful to me?

These questions aren’t meant to shame you, but to help you understand yourself, your behaviors, and the reasons behind your actions. Remember, healing is a gradual process. Change takes time, and setbacks are normal. In fact, setbacks are a natural part of growth and don’t mean you are failing; they show you are trying, learning, and making progress. With these questions, you are looking for who you are and when you hide. What makes the real you, your inner child, hide? Most importantly, do you know when you go into hiding?