Healing your inner child can be uncomfortable; however, it is valuable as you learn to love yourself, let go of that wounding, and heal. You also find that you grow up as you heal your inner child.

When I began my inner child wounding, I realized I was 7 when I had to take care of my brothers because my mother had a breakdown; she locked herself in her room for 5 days. I also understood my earliest wounding was earlier than that, as I was neglected, buried alive with toys while my mother was ironing, I was hospitalized at 9 months due to failure to thrive and allergies (but still given milk with a milk allergy) I was of that age when we did not have as many options as they do today for food allergies, they also did not know what we know now.

If you feel like you regress when triggered, you may need inner child healing work.

Healing your inner child takes time; it takes understanding of how to find that wounding age, or ages. It also takes strength. It is a difficult journey, but one that you will never regret.

We all have a different view of what neglect, abuse, and trauma are, and what degree we think some things are normal. It would be normal for you if you had nothing to compare it to.

You can ask yourself a few questions: not a complete list, to see if you may need some inner child work.

• Do you seek approval
• Do you look and seek out affection
• Do you fear rejection
• Do you feel responsible for things that are not yours to hold
• Do you fear losing control
• Do you fear being alone
• Can you relax or have fun
• Do you feel fulfilled
• Do you use the ‘sick card,’ saying you are sick, to get attention or to avoid doing things
• Can you speak assertively
• Do you act like a toddler or a teen when triggered?

One thing you can do at home is keep a journal. In this journal, you can write a letter to your inner child, wounded child, or younger self. This letter should be a safe place for your inner child to respond. If you are not safe for your inner child, Please Do Not do this exercise

• One way to do this exercise is to use your dominant hand as the adult. You will write with one medium and ask questions or say what you would have wanted your inner child to hear. What you need to hear to heal and let go.
• With the opposite hand, you will use a different medium, such as a crayon. You will answer or write what your inner child would say or has to say. You can identify age, fear, hunger, or what comes out as you are writing.

You can also make a timeline:

• People who have been abused tend to lose time; big gaps of time seem lost to them. A timeline will help with this. You would start from infancy until today (whatever that is for you)
• Timelines should have dates, ages, events, household stress, deregulation state, and safety. Were you safe? Were your needs met in a healthy way? Were your emotions understood? Did you go into hiding?

A good, older book relevant to this topic is A Gift to Myself by Charles Whitfield. It can be purchased on Amazon